I labored for nearly an entire day putting together a meal for some friends, the old and the new kind. I tried a new thing that I’d never done before and it came together. People stayed late and they laughed. At some point I moved back to the kitchen and tackled the dishes, piled high up on the counter tops like a scene from Cinderella.  Yet, the whole time, from start to finish, all I could think of was how- if there is a such thing- this is some kind of snapshot of the Kingdom of God. How rare to get to be in the middle of such a thing, and how even further is it a gift to have some thin slice of an awareness. 

Let’s do it all over again tomorrow. 

a year ago

In a few minutes the clock will tick past midnight and it will be the 10th of December. This day is important because it marks the beginning of a journey in my life that began four years ago. It’s amazing to think of how much has changed in that amount of time: namely- that I moved from one country to another. But then, so much else.  Including 750 something emails that passed from me to a group of people who were wonderful in their support and love. 

One year ago was the end of the Tatum Daily Update.  Sometimes it is hard to imagine that I don’t write it anymore. Somedays it’s hard to believe that it ever existed at all.  

Perhaps a time like this should call for some more reflection, but to be honest, I’m not there yet. It’s not time to reflect on that journey yet. This is because, while the emails are over, I still continue on with the goal.  It was never about the daily writings that I sent out, it was about something else. I’m amazed at how faithful God has been in seeing this through in my life.  

In case you don’t know, I lost a lot of weight. What’s great is that I’ve lost a lot of weight this year as well. Particularly since August. When I say that I find God faithful, I hope you don’t take it as a trite saying. This is has been an amazing struggle.

Anyway. It’s been a year. I went from writing an email to a lot of people every day to writing an email every few days to one person to hardly writing any emails at all. Maybe there was a process that I had to go through, I don’t know. 

What I do know is that one day I’ll probably have a lot to say about all of it- the whole thing together. But as it stands now- I have to remember these words from my friend Jesse nearly four years ago, “You have to not think about what it is right now. You have to keep moving forward. When the task is finished, then you can reflect on it.” 

I think that was wise. So I’ll continue to fight on in this thing that I’m called for, and when the time comes there will be a torrent of words. But not tonight. 

No, not tonight. 

“No amount of fire or freshness will challenge what a man stores up in his ghostly heart.”-F. Scott Fitzgerald.